When Techies Attack: Act 3

The army of techies hid quietly behind the new sets, waiting. They were all equipped with their tape and flashlights. They heard the stage door creak open, the ruckus of the actors entering the theater. The dressing room door opened and slammed shut.

"What's this?" "Where is my costume?" "Techie!" "Techie!" "I need a techie!" "I don't understand!" "What's going on?"

Mike laughed at their hopelessness. He grabbed a microphone and said clearly, "The costumes are marked. Put the one on that has your name inside."

It took a while, but eventually the actors filed out on stage, all with uncomfortable looks on their faces. Every single one was grumbling about how it didn't fit, or the color didn't go with their complexion, or it looked like there should be a hat, or something else ridiculous. They stopped when they could see the stage.

"What is this?" Demanded Alexis, the head diva. She was never the star, but thought she should be and supposedly that gave her all the right to bitch out. "These aren't our sets. These aren't our costumes. What is going on? Is anyone else even here?"

Mike took the microphone again and stated, "Oh you're not alone. And these are your sets and costumes. Sure, they may not be what you worked with before, but they're what you've got now. Make it work."

"It's not my job to make it work, that's the tech crew's job!"

"NOW!" Mike yelled in fury.

The techies jumped from behind unfamiliar sets and began the attack. Mike took on Alexis as his own. He whipped out his tape like the pro he was, but he couldn't get to her arms before she started shaking him. She switched to pulling his hair and then finished by throwing him across the stage.

"That's it! No more!" He got up and ran at her. "You are a horrible actress!" With that he shined his flashlight right in her eyes.

"NO! I'm melting! Melting!"

"I don't believe it. Where is the inflection?" He smirked and taped her mouth shut.

The other actors stopped and stared in awe at Mike. An ensemble member stepped forward and said shyly, "You stopped her." She turned to the crowd and declared, "we are free!"

All the actors cheered and hugged the nearest techie. Finally the diva's dictatorship was over and the actors all had their free spirits back.

"Wait!" Mike shouted. "Just because the diva is gone, this doesn't mean your going to stop abusing us. We know what you're capable of!"

"We only did what we did because she pressured us. Can you help us learn how to do the tech stuff too?"

"Yeah, can you? Please?" More and more voices were chiming in until Mike collapsed under their pleading.

"Fine. From this day forth, everyone that steps foot on this stage will be bitechtual!"

And so it was. The techies trained the actors, and the actors trained the techies. The Great Tech Revolution happened farther than anyone can remember, but we all know this is the story. This is the way things always were, and always shall be! And the moral of the story? Techies are people too! Goodbye and goodnight, my dear friends and readers. Love to all!

<3 CNM

When Techies Attack: Act 2

Mike paced back and forth in front of a crowd of techies, flashlight in hand.

"Listen to me," he said, "the actors are the enemy. Defeating them should be easy, however they are well trained in stage combat so we may face some difficulties. If you get a chance to tape down their arms, all they'll have are their jazz squares. Trip them and they don't stand a chance. Here's the plan, tonight we switch out their costumes and swap the sets. Tomorrow, we fight. These are your weapons." He held up his flashlight and a toll of tech tape. "Use them wisely. Now go! We have a lot of work to do!"

The army of techies scattered as Mike shooed them away. He stood in silence on the empty stage and smiled. It was almost time. Finally, once and for all, the techies would reign triumphant.

When Techies Attack: Act 1

Mike sat in the booth alone in the darkness, plotting his revenge. He absolutely resented the way those ignorant actors were always screaming, "Tech, tech, techies!!!" How very dare they insult his trade! Mike could act if he wanted to, he just didn't want to. His forefinger absent mindedly stroked the sound board. When faced with a technical problem, he was always prepared and the stupid actors had no idea what to do. All they could do in a time of crisis was call for someone else to take care of them. Actors are helpless, hopeless even.

As a devoted techie, Mike was sick of them all. "Get me a water!" "How does this thingy work?" "Is my mic working?" "Do you know where my prop is?" "How does this costume look?"

AAHHHH! No! Figure it out yourself! Did you even turn it on? Your prop is your own problem! Why should I care how you look? I'm done! It is time for the revolution my friends!

Mike decided once and for all to assemble his tech army and attack. He locked the booth and left in silence, a sly grin taking over his chiseled features. This was just the beginning.